Give Yourself Grace During The Holidays

Does it seem like everyone is in the holiday spirit except you?

Christmas trees up, lights blinking and jingle bell singing.

Yet, you feel like the only person in the room not feeling it. Your red and green represents the anger your feel and the green for your envy towards anyone in the holiday spirit.

I have learned to show people grace. We have been taught that anyone who doesn’t celebrate the holiday, specifically Christmas is the Grinch.

It is not ok, to treat anyone who is not fond of the holidays as an outsider.

It is ok to feel this way. It is ok to acknowledge that you do not feel as happy as everyone says that you should feel. It is ok to not be impressed with the decor, put up holiday designs or participate in parties, crafts or anything that resembles the holiday season.

It is hard for parents though, because we do most of our celebrating to create a magical time for our children. If you are forcing yourself to create this holiday ambience for your children, be easy.

It is definitely easier said than done, but don’t force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. We have to learn to acknowledge why we are upset, and find ways to heal and resolve those emotions. But first we must not cover the issues with doing things that we do not want to do. In my opinion, it only causes us to be more resentful.

I love the holiday season and I usually go all out to celebrate. However, I had a different perspective when a friend of mine confiding in me about not wanting to celebrate. She asked if she can send her children to my home to participate in a few of our holiday fesitivities because she isn’t up to doing anything. Of course, I told her that her children are more than welcome to come with us and if there was anything I can do for her. She explained that Christmas reminds her of her late husband. He was the one who celebrated the most and now she cannot seem to bring that same energy into her household. She asked me my suggestion and I told her that she should find some way to remember him. Find a way to acknowledge what she feels and explain it to her children. They are older and expect the house to keep the same traditons, but I told her that she should create new traditions. Traditions that can remember her husband in a positive way, but also not put pressure on her to live up to expectations of an atmosphere that she can no longer duplicate. She was very impressed with my suggestion and since then said that it is helping her ease back into the holiday spirit.

Of course this is not an easy fix for everyone, but I want to help anyone, especially parents who feel exhausted and depleted during this time. It is easy to give up and feel like you are not doing enough, missing love ones or simply just not being in the mood to celebrate. It is ok to identify, understand your emotions, reassess and move on from there. I hope everyone is having a great holiday season. Stay blessed and try not to stress!

Tahnee COle


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